The Idea of Coworkers Was Invented By Satan

I've made up my mind that Satan had been using my coworker Rachel to tempt me. I swear that any day now I am going to straight up slice her! She is always trying to take over my job, blame me for her own incompetency, and she the laziest whore I know! You know... someone should kill her. For the sake of this office, someone just might! Today, I'm doing my Renaissance and Baroque architecture term paper, and she picks up the book I'm reading from and says, "I should really brush up on my Italian architecture." Well I offer the advice to her that she should study Renaissance architecture then, that being what Italian architecture is mostly about. "Well, there are other important types of Italian architecture." True, I say, I was just offering advice. Then she says that Greek and Roman architecture is her favorite. So I said that she pretty much knew the important aspects of Renaissance architecture because it embodied a return to Greek and Roman architecture. "No, Renaissance architecture is more delicate." At this point, I'm looking up to the sky praying for God to strike this ignorant bitch down. I said whatever. I'm not the best at talking about architecture anyway. My emphasis mainly rests on painting. Then she professes her mastery and love of architecture and how she could talk about it for days. Rachel, the only thing you're capable of talking about for days is your horse's ass love story (which I've heard the 4 hour version three times now) and what you think is your impenetrable weath of knowledge that rests on a foundation of pure unsaturated stupidity. So I did the mature thing to make myself feel better- the classical mustache and devil horns!

She has the Hitler mustache because everyday she preforms this massive genocide on my happiness and well being. I honestly can't stand the fact that she thinks she knows more than me on my own major! While that may be a bit prideful, I feel that I deserve that pride after spending 3 years studying rigorously to get a constant stream of A's.
So I have come up with a list of things I'd rather do than listen to Rachel: sit in a fire, drown myself next to Spongebob, or bury myself in a snowman.