Girls Become Lovers That Turn Into Mothers

I was listening to John Mayer's "Daughters," and my mind catapulted into this awesome "holy crud" moment. I was thinking of when I used to listen to this song in high school and think, "Someday I'll get married." I reached that checkpoint. "Someday I'll have a daughter." Woah! That is less than three months away. Sometimes my emotions gravitate to sheer horror: "There's no way I can be a mother! I don't know everything there is to know yet! I'm only 22!" Other times I'm completely confident. After all, if I don't know something than my mom is just a phone call away (thank heavens!). But I am always excited as can be to meet my little Naomi. Sometimes I can't stand it, I get so excited and then I have to dive into something to distract me. I want to pinch her chubby cheeks, bathe her tiny little body, kiss her sweet face raw, hold her and listen to her breathe, and stare at her as she sleeps. I also want to pat that precious little tush! Oh! I have got to stop. I'm reaching that peak where my excitement is making me want to explode. Then my "holy crud" moment comes full circle as I picture my mom in my position. I like to think she was horribly excited for me and wanted to do all those things with me that I just mentioned above (even though I wasn't her first). Then I make the horrific connection that I was once this little Naomi fetus and soon...much too soon...this little girl is going to be in my position. She will be married and expecting her own first. That blows my mind away and I feel like crying because I've already missed those 22 years. Then I have to calm down those roller-coaster hormones and remind myself that she's negative three months old. You better believe that I'm going to soak up every minute of every day I have her! I've already seen 22 years of her life go like a snap, and from what I've heard, that's how it really happens.